07 February 2011 in

Happiness, did you get the friend request?

FEBRUARY 9, 2011
Have you ever noticed that a lot of us just wait to be happy?
Once I get that house, I’ll be happy! Once I get that car, I’ll be happy! Once I get “the one”, I’ll be happy! Once I’m more understanding, I’ll be happy! Once I’m less stubborn, I’ll be happy! Once I get out of here, I’ll be happy! Once I get a new job, I’ll be happy! These phrases are commonplace in our everyday language. There is no doubt that you can come up with your own list of “Once I…I’ll be happy”. 
The problem that emerges from the creation of such a list is constantly waiting to be happy and never actually being happy. It’s like a happiness rat race or a forever pending friend request. What is interesting is the misery people are willing to put themselves through while waiting for their promised land. Life becomes so dramatic. I don’t mean to downplay tough times; I’ve had my share of them. My life hasn’t been easy but it hasn’t been unbearable either. We all have personal tragedies and they can be physically draining, mentally challenging and emotionally treacherous.
What I am proposing is that perspective plays a huge role in our circumstance and our happiness. Dale Carnegie once said, “It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.  It’s what you think about.” In my opinion he nailed it. Our physical circumstance might restrict us in terms of where we live, how much money we make, the possessions we hold and the friends we have. However, our physical condition cannot restrict our mind. Nonetheless we do a good job of that ourselves using misery. If you really think about it, happiness and misery are flip sides of a coin. Why is it that so many of us are willing to walk hand in hand with one while forever waiting for the other?
Now in all fairness, there are those of us who truly enjoy being miserable. It takes a certain kind of person to be happy with misery, but they are out there. You know the best thing about them though? They are not stuck in limbo, waiting! They know that misery makes them happy and they revel in it. As far as I’m concerned they are ahead of those who seem to be running in emotional circles never getting anywhere.
Sometimes, we seem to forget that our minds are very powerful. They can’t accomplish everything but they can definitely accomplish happy thoughts. I’m not saying our psyches have to become “Pleasantville” however it is important to remember that we control our perspective. It is more beneficial to focus on the positive things in your life than the ones which bring you despair.
Let me ask you a question. Is happiness a part of your present or a part of your future? If it’s only a part of your future my second question naturally is what are you waiting for? Oh let me guess you’re waiting for that raise, you’re waiting to pay off your debt, you’re waiting to finish school; basically you’re just waiting. What you’re missing is the fact that you get to wake up every day and experience life. If you have a hard time thinking up something to be happy about at least be happy about that. Happiness is a state of mind which doesn’t require a ten year plan and a carefully crafted path.
If you think everything I've said is complete non-sense and you love the blues, follow this link:

the outspoken introvert

7 Comments So Far:

  1. I agree, thanks for posting this.


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