You Are At The Archives for November 2012

25 November 2012 in ,

Advice to writers...

Writing is my cup of tea. It's my outlet. This is why I write. I'm not the best at taking advice. I will listen sometimes, but chances are in the end I'll do whatever it is I want to do anyway. However, here's some advice which is bound to come in handy.

Isn't that the truth. If you want your writing to have an impact it has to be genuine. This means letting go of your reservations, having an opinion. Most of all it means being honest and conveying that to your readers.

Edit. Edit. Edit. Make your writing concise. Get to the point.

Your experiences are just that, your's. Others can guide you but they can't pinpoint exactly what and how to fix something in your life. You have to achieve that on your own. You have to figure out your own story, you have to find your own path.

Make it interesting. Make your readers want more.

Probably the most solid advice of all. Reading a lot and writing a lot makes you practise and practise makes perfect. By reading, you see how others use words to connect, to make a difference. By writing, you put what you've seen to use.

Make every word count. Don't get attached to the useless ones. Every word should have it's place, every word should have a purpose.

Inspiration is everywhere. Don't be a hoarder, get it out there.

Take criticism and get better. Don't let criticism extinguish your dream. If you can't believe in yourself how do you expect others to?

Put in the time to get the words right. It's important. As a writer, getting the words right is all you have.

Use punctuation wisely. It's your best accessory, like a necklace or a great pair of shoes. Without them the outfit is just OK, and so is your writing.

Don't let others tell you that you can't. Don't lose your voice, listen to advice but stay true to yourself and what you want to convey.

The best summary I've seen to date.

the outspoken introvert


24 November 2012 in

I was here.

So I have a tendency to get a bit emotional. I mean I have a hard time watching an episode of Private Practice without tearing up. Don't even get me started on Grey's Anatomy. This song definitely hits on the heart strings. It delivers a powerful message. It's definitely worth a listen. 

I think all of us have to take a step back every once in a while and appreciate our life. The fact that we are here. We are alive and able to experience this crazy small part of the universe we call our world. I strongly believe that every life DOES make a difference. Every one of us is important to someone. Every one of us has brought someone happiness, laughter or tears. Every one of us has had an impact on someone. The way that human beings connect and lean on each other for support is heart-warming and marvellous. We need that connection to be happy.

I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, "if this isn't nice I don't know what is."
Kurt Vonnegut

21 November 2012 in , , , , ,

How I dealt with...the friend that moved away

I decided to start a series called "how I deal with..." which will describe how I dealt with certain situations. I'm doing it for a couple of reasons:

1. To amuse my readers as the way I deal with situations is sometimes inappropriate, embarrassing and hilarious.
2. Feedback and a different perspective. For my own personal growth I'd like to know how and if I could have handled the situation better. Hopefully you can help me out.

These ramblings will be based on true events however the real identities of the individuals depicted in these stories will be hidden. Silly privacy laws or something. I'm not rich enough to get sued.  

Here goes...

One spring sunny day about six months ago my best friend of fifteen years gave me a little call. To hide her identity as promised, I will refer to her as friend x.

Ring Ring...

Me: "Hello"
Friend x: "Hey what's up?"
Me: "Oh you know not much, you?"
Friend x: "Well..."
Me: "Okkk, what?"
Friend x: "I got offered a transfer with my job (side note: a transfer to a city she's been wanting to move to for about a year) and I don't know what to do."
Me: (side note: devastated, because I knew she would take it) "That's awesome! Looks like you have a lot of thinking to do. Wanna grab a drink?"
Friend x: "Ahhh yea, come over."

Fast forward a couple of months and as predicted she was gone. The following is a recap of how I dealt with...the friend that moved away.

First of all I worked. I worked. A. Lot. Four jobs kind of a lot. I was doing my regular corporate gig full-time. Part-time, I was doing mortgages, bookkeeping for my parents and helping out at a friend's restaurant. I have to say those few months went by crazy fast and are now a blur! But I was busy, and didn't have much time to think about the friend that moved away. I liked it that way. I was happy pissed. I was happy for her, I've heard her talk about moving for so long and I was glad she achieved her goal. We're the type of gals who like checking things off our bucket list. So I was proud of her. I was also pissed. She left me. My partner in crime was gone.

Not to worry, when I had free time I filled the void of my missing confidant with wine and food. This is the second way I dealt with the friend that moved away. I got fat. Not "Junk in the trunk" kind of big, but something similar to the college 15. That fifteen pounds you put on because you just moved away from home, your parents aren't feeding you home cooked meals any more so you live on chips and pizza. I'm going to call my weight gain the abandonment 10. Clearly, friend x's fault. Ugh.

Somewhere between my jeans fitting tighter and a four job induced state of eternal tiredness, the scales tipped. I was more pissed than happy. So I cried. This is the third way of dealing with the friend that moved away. I cried. In secret of course. I couldn't let on, that I was fat, exhausted and slightly depressed. While she was galavanting in her new life. But I dearly missed my best bud. It's not because I couldn't tell her. She would have loved to hear it, and hold my hand through it. That's what she does. It's because I don't like talking about feelings. I also vowed to never visit her (side note: I really thought I would show her for leaving me.) I pulled dumb shit like returning phone calls with texts, and not being communicative at all. I was pissed. Like I said, I don't deal with things appropriately all the time. Lucky for me, she's used to my antics.

I classify the above as my three stages of grief. I don't need five. Then friend x came to visit. Dun dun duuuun. We laughed, we talked, we painted the town red. Everything was as if she never left. Which really isn't surprising at all. We've had our ups and we've had our downs, but we have a fundamental understanding of each other which you don't find in every friendship. 

This brings me to the final way I dealt with the friend that moved away. I broke my vow. Yup, I broke it. Last weekend, I went to visit. It was a stupid vow anyway. Although it rained all the time and going through airport security hungover is horrendous, we had an amazing time. 2AM kitchen dance party, to the greatest hits from the last 15 years, included. If there is anything I've learned about our friendship, it's that even though locations and circumstances change - nothing will ever change to the point where we are not the best of buds. Without each other we're like asentencewithoutspaces.

Now excuse me, I have to tackle the abandonment 10.

the outspoken introvert

20 November 2012 in , ,

Me, Myself and I

1. What are your top 5 movies to watch during the holidays?
Polar Express
Edward Scissor Hands
Bad Santa
Miracle on 34th Street
Home Alone

2. What are you thankful for?
It's hard for me to pinpoint a couple of things. I'm grateful for a lot. I'm not always super fantastically awesome at showing it but at the top of my list are: my family, my friends, my experiences, the love and positive influence I have in my life.

3. If there was a verse to describe your life, what would it be?
After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security, and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and you eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child, and you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow’s ground is to uncertain for plans. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get to much. So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure…that you really are strong, and you really do have worth. 
Veronica A. Shoffstall

4. Who in your family are you most like?
My dad is an Accountant
My mom is a Bookkeeper
My sister is a Probation Officer
I'm...the black sheep. 
I suppose I'm a little like all of them. My mom and I share perseverance and compassion. My dad and I share bluntness. My sister and I share stubbornness. 

5. What is your favourite drink to order at Starbucks?
Well in this sense I'm really not that exciting. A grande non fat latte, with two milk chocolate covered Graham crackers. Pretty much every time.

Thanks for the idea:

the outspoken introvert

19 November 2012 in

Get down.

Discovered this over the weekend, coincidentally it's by the weekend. Takes me back to the chill days of Jodeci. It's been a while since I've heard an R&B track that made me wanna groove. Check it out.

the outspoken introvert

18 November 2012 in

Just Some Jokes.

I needed a bit of a pick me up today. I may have had a few to many dirty martinis with some dear friends last night. Let's just say going through airport security with a headache of those kind of proportions is not my idea of an awesome Sunday. Nonetheless, I arrived home safe and sound. Upon my return I went straight to someecards it always gives me a good laugh. After my humour fix, I thought I'd share them with you. 


the outspoken introvert

12 November 2012 in ,

Junk in your trunk.

The Economist is a magazine I read often. It's a one stop shop in terms of a news outlet. It provides me with a dose of politics, business, finance, technology and culture. I enjoy it. I came across an article today which left me unnerved. This post is bound to ruffle some feathers, I'm OK with that. I'm going to talk about weight which is a sensitive issue for millions of people. I don't mean a few extra pounds, I mean obesity. Needing an extra seat on a plane kind of obesity.

The article, Obese flyers: How should airlines treat larger passengers? makes a comparison between American and international attitudes towards big travellers. In America, a passenger who is not able to fit in one seat is required to buy an extra ticket or wait for the next flight that can accommodate the necessary space. In contrast, good ol' Air Canada's policy is as follows:

"International airlines such as Air Canada address this issue more amicably: Because the airline considers obesity a medical condition, it provides overweight passengers with a free extra seat as long as they present a doctor's note."

Well, this would in part, explains why Air Canada needs all those government bail outs on a regular basis. Although I'm sure the article is right in pointing out that the cost is passed on to other passengers, who get nothing extra for their buck. I am typically a bleeding heart of such massive proportions it feels like my arteries are working overtime. Not in this case. America has this right! If I can barely bring my luggage without paying a premium on top of my regular fare, those who need extra seats for their butt cheek can pay for it as well. We are after all talking about extra weight.

It's not that I can't appreciate the difficulties associated with obesity. Not from my own experience, but I can sympathize with another person's pain and the feeling of humiliation. However, is making things "more comfortable" not encouraging the problem in the grand scheme of things? I'm not saying big traveller's should be treated poorly or with disrespect but they should pay a fair share based on their particular circumstance. Air Canada's policy for infants (children 2 years and younger) on international flights is 10% of the adult fare and they don't even get a seat, they share with the parent. It seems only reasonable that a person who is actually using the extra space pay for it.

Canadian flights are already extremely expensive in comparison to those in the United States  and Europe without the added costs of these free seats.

the outspoken introvert 

11 November 2012 in , ,

Stop being's boring.

I came across a little gem and it made my day, I had quite the chuckle over it. Chelsea Fagan has compiled 8 sure signs to tell if you are becoming boring. Its safe to say I'm there! I am guilty of committing ALMOST everything on that list. If you have a moment to spare and need a good laugh check it out here. It might save you from a boring existence with pj's and take out, so go on take a little looksie.

the outspoken introvert

10 November 2012 in , , , ,

Just let it go...

Relationships are weird. I don't just mean relationships with a significant other. I mean human relationships in general. There are moments when you connect with another human being and you can't imagine your life without them. You laugh together, keep each other company and confide in each other. They become ingrained in your daily routine like sugar in your coffee or brushing your teeth. You take comfort in their presence because it is automatic, it becomes the norm.


This bliss doesn't last forever. People are like elastic bands, they come together and drift apart. Each individual who is let into your life teaches you something. They leave their mark on the way you see the world - sometimes it's positive and other times it's not. Nonetheless other people change us, maybe that's why it's possible to outgrow your relationships. Our interests shift and so do our priorities. All of a sudden life without that particular connection doesn't seem so unbelievable. It becomes real, almost a necessity. That's the moment to let go. 

The hard part is deciding whether a relationship is still worth your effort or whether you've exhausted all avenues and have nothing left to offer. The threshold is different for everyone. It doesn't make sense to let go of something you had for so long, but it also doesn't make sense to hold on when there's actually nothing there. So true! The point of human relation is to relate. That's what makes us comfortable, that's what makes us sane - knowing that we can connect with like minded people and feel understood. If there is a disconnect in that relation the bond between two individuals will deteriorate. Keep the relationships which are worth keeping and nurture them with all you have; let go of the ones that are not worth it without looking back  

the outspoken introvert. 

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