You Are At The Archives for 2013

28 July 2013 in , ,


YUP! Perfect.

13 May 2013 in ,

My Happy Place

For some it's the beach or the gym or the kitchen or some far away place in their mind. My happy place is my bed. It's a place where I can truly unwind. Watch some TV, read a little, write a little, nap a little, drink a little, the list goes on. I just love my bed.

Where's your happy place?

the outspoken introvert

11 May 2013 in ,

You're not that weird; Everybody does it.

OK! So some are creepier than others, but people do some weird shit. Rest assured we are not alone in our weirdness. We have everyone else keeping us company. 

1. "I know I wore this yesterday, but nobody knows that, so really it doesn't count"
Seriously, everything came together like a perfectly crafted masterpiece. If outfits were given Academy Awards yours would have won in a landslide. The problem, even though you left the house and had a perfectly productive day, nobody REALLY saw your fashion equivalent of the Mona Lisa. Since nobody saw it, it did not get a chance to reach it's full potential. By nobody I don't literally mean nobody. Sure, the bank teller, the grocery store cashier, and some random people at the mall laid eyes on the said creation but you don't wear outfits like that for them. Those outfits are worn for people you want to impress or the people you want to seduce. If those people don't see the glory, it is our obligation to give them another chance, even if it is the very next day. Since you didn't see anyone yesterday, you're the only one that knows. Am I right? Don't bother answering that, I know I'm right. 

2. "Oh yea, I totally know what you mean. I love their stuff"
So you just met. You want to seem knowledgeable and cool and like you know what you're talking about. The thing is you don't. Now, instead of making it easy on yourself and admitting your shortfall in the topic of discussion you'll nod and blurt out lies like "oh yea that was great" or "I haven't read any of his new stuff, but what I have read really touched me." You'll back yourself into a corner. Oh and the corner sucks, it sucks because the only way out is pure humiliation. That humiliation comes when you've ran out of "oh yeah's" and "uh huh's" and now you really have to add something to the conversation. You can't, because you don't know what the hell they were talking about in the first place and now they know it as well. You are not the only one in the world that doesn't want to feel left out, so they pretend. See exhibit A:

 3. "Come on guys, that was an amazing status update"
Should I post it? Yea, I totally should. It's great. I spent the last half an hour perfecting it. It's funny, it really conveys the way I feel right now. It's not to long, it's not to short. It's going to go viral. OK. Here goes I'm posting it. A day later your status received no feedback, not even a measly like. The shame is so deep that you delete it from the social world we know as the internet. It's the equivalent of telling a bad joke to a room full of people. The punch line comes, nobody laughs. Ouch. Ain't nobody got time for that.

4. "NO WAY! I honestly had no idea"
Ah, you're honestly a liar. Not only did you have an idea, you knew. You and your best friend just spent all of yesterday dissecting the information over a bottle of Malbec. You however cannot let anyone know that you know. Especially, not the person who the information is actually about. I get caught in this one all the time. Having to pretend I don't know when I know. For some reason, people tell me stuff. A lot of stuff. Top secret, nobody is supposed to know this information type of stuff. So I pretend. Don't judge me so do you. Say, you run into someone you haven't seen in a while and they go on to tell you about their wedding in Costa Rica and their great news of expecting a baby, you will pretend that you are hearing it for the first time.  You won't admit that you know what kind of dress she wore, and that you didn't really like her wedding shoes and that thanks to Facebook, Twitter and Instagram you pretty much know the date they conceived their bundle of joy. Mmmm hmmmm, like I said don't judge me.

5. "I mean, I have to practise"
You're facing an uncomfortable situation with another human being. It's an inevitable part of being alive. Obviously you have to prepare. So you recite the conversation that you're going to have with this person. Sometimes in your head, sometimes you might even do it out loud. You know, to really make the practise run authentic. You're not the only one that does this. The person you're facing is probably practising the same conversation in front of  their mirror, while you do it in the shower. In any case, keep this weirdness under wraps. People do it, but they shouldn't talk about it.

Yea, you've done it. If not all, I will bet at least one of the above.

the outspoken introvert

28 April 2013 in , ,


A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.

         Kurt Vonnegut

17 April 2013 in , ,

Why yes, mistakes is my middle name.

Yea, I've dated the wrong people. I've said the wrong thing. I bought a house at the wrong time. I chose a generic degree. I got drunk to many times. I paid a small fortune in speeding tickets. I smoked, and not just cigarettes. I've been in accidents. I've skirted responsibility. I've been dishonest. I've been selfish. I've hurt people. I could go on, but it's redundant. 

I've made mistakes. 

Everyday I'm just trying to figure things out. Isn't that what we're all doing. Going left and going right trying to find our groove in this place. That groove, that middle ground is what Aristotle called the "golden mean". The perfect balance between excess and deficiency. On paper that guy seems to have it all figured out.

But I digress...

The point I'm making is that our mistakes do not define us. Sure, they challenge our character and hopefully teach us to be better. I mean, if you keep making the same mistakes over and over and over and over. That's your problem, not only that, it's stupid. 

Mistakes don't define our entire life. 

Dwelling is such a useless emotion. There are some instances where you have to go through the motions. Whether it's anger, grief, embarrassment, guilt  or pain. Let yourself feel whatever you need to feel in order to move on. But eventually forgive yourself and part ways with those emotions, they have to be expendable. Believe me, you'll need your mental strength for the next crap shoot you find yourself in.

For all y'all perfect folks. If you haven't made mistakes, if you always travel this world like a straight arrow -  congratulations! You are not living, you are standing still.

the outspoken introvert

15 April 2013 in , , ,

Tipping Point

I love the above quote from Don Winslow. It's so clever! I love myself some clever. 

The way I see it there comes a tipping point in each life where you must accept yourself. It is not any more what you will become. It is what you are and always will be. The idea is petrifying and liberating all at once. Pretending to be someone you're not is complete nonsense. Why would you try to fit a circle inside a square?

Now go into the world and share your new found wisdom. Happy Monday.

the outspoken introvert

14 April 2013 in

Spring? Dream on...

I was actually contemplating painting my toesies the other day in preparation for Flip Flop Day. It's that first day you get to wear flip flops again after a long drawn out affair with socks and boots. I love that day, and every other day I get to wear flippies.

Alas, nothing says Spring like twenty five centimetres of snow in the middle of April. So, since I live in what seems to be the equivalent of Antarctica I'm glad I didn't waste my time. Undoubtedly, Flip Flop day and my foot preparation have been postponed until Mother Nature decides to stop puking up snow.

the outspoken introvert

11 April 2013 in , ,

Beautiful People


09 April 2013 in , ,

Do you really want honesty?

I got a kick out of this. It resonates with me.

Most people claim they appreciate honesty, but do they? It seems to me that when questions are asked the answer is already pre-determined by the person asking the question. It's like a script, they ask, and you are expected to play your part and answer with what they want to hear.

Classic Example:

Chick - "Does my ass look fat in these jeans?" (Even though she knows her ass looks fat in those jeans, she has eyes of her own and they function just fine.)
Dude - "Yes, it looks a little fat. Maybe try a different pair." (That's honesty)
Chick - "Oh my God, that's so rude." (She's offended. Because obviously he should have answered that her ass does not look fat. It's what she wants. The validation, not honesty.)

Two weeks later:

Chick - "Seriously, I can't believe you said my ass looks fat in those jeans."

The variation of the above example ranges from serious to petty and the situations are endless.

I've been that person. I've been the one expecting a certain response and getting honesty instead. Haven't you? HA! Honesty, it can be a wretched bitch. It leaves us vulnerable. It strips us down and we have nothing to hide behind.

I've also been the honest one many times. The one giving an answer someone else doesn't want to hear. The funny thing about truth is, not wanting to hear it doesn't change the fact that it's true. It hits you like a backhand. That's why wishes aren't the only thing to be careful with. Consider your demand for honesty carefully and be prepared to turn the other cheek.

Honestly, if you can't handle the truth; don't ask me.

the outspoken introvert

08 April 2013 in

It Matters Monday

Cupcakes for everyone. Because it was Monday, and these were so sweet.

Did you do something nice today?

the outspoken introvert

07 April 2013 in ,

Do you have peace?

Someone asked me if I have peace?

Currently, my life looks like this:

I have four jobs.
1. Full-time I do legal and research work in oil royalties.
2. I'm a part-time Bookkeeper.
3. I'm a part-time Mortgage  Broker.
4. I'm a part-time Waitress at a wicked little Italian place.

I'm going to school.
1. Monday evening (Environmental Regulations)
2. Thursday evening (Land Concepts)
3. Whenever I have time (Integrated Approach to the Oil and Gas Industry - on-line)

I'm exercising.
1. Monday at lunch - Yoga
2. Friday at lunch - Kick-boxing

I try to have a life.
1. Tuesday evening
2. Wednesday evening
3. Sunday
   *These are subject to change depending on how much is going on with everything else.

My life is busy and it is chaotic but my answer is, yes, I have peace.

I have peace, but I'm lonely.

the outspoken introvert

03 April 2013 in ,

Ain't it so

Easy come. Easy Go.

27 February 2013 in

Let it burn...

Don't worry this isn't turning into a fitness blog, but I'm getting off my ass. Paired with a good diet, it's really the only way to achieve lasting results. I'm not much of a gym person. Classes can be to expensive. Time is limited. 

I know, I know, I'm full of excuses. I've been on the lookout for an at home routine that kicks my ass for some time now. It seems I finally found it so why not share the goods. The Daily Hiit is full of FREE high intensity interval training videos. It provides a workout targeting a different part of the body daily. A lot of them don't require any kind of equipment but they'll leave you breathless. No registration required. If you're looking to slim down check it out. Great stuff.

the outspoken introvert

21 January 2013 in , ,

I love you.

I. Love. You. Three little words that pack a punch. Or so it seems. I love you, describes the deepest emotion or a mention in passing. How is one supposed to tell the difference? I find the phrase contrived. Is eight letters enough to cover such a gigantic spectrum. Check it: 

"There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by  halves, it is not my nature." ~ Jane Austen

"Sometimes it's a form of love just to talk to somebody that you have nothing in common with and still be fascinated by their presence." ~ David Byrne

"I love her and that's the beginning and end of everything." F. Scott Fitzgerald

"Love is one of those jokes you have to be there to get." Ralph Waldo Emerson

There are many stories here. Those of lovers and those of friends. Some will argue that love is love. I disagree. Fair, in terms of defining the word - love is just that, love. But love as one word describes a multitude of feelings. We don't love our friends the same way we love our family and we don't love our family the same way we love our significant other. Yet all those emotions are compacted into love. It doesn't seem fair. Their, there and they're get a bit of variety, it seems love should as well.

Dun dara duuuuun! GENERATION X and Y to the rescue. Along with OMG, WTF and BTW we came up with a sophisticated word that branches slightly away from love. Luv. I've used it. I've on occasion seen, "I wuv you" and that quite literally makes me want to barf. Why isn't there real options out there.

I often wonder why we are so scared of this emotion. Love. Me included. It scares us because it makes us fall. It makes us lose our mind. It stretches our character out like play-dough. It stretches it so far that we become a new being. When love touches us we are never the same again. That is terrifying, to leave the old, familiar corners of our soul for something completely new. Isn't that what we are all searching for, to fit in somewhere? I'm not only referring to romantic love. So just keep that in mind.

But you know what damn it - I don't care if it's love, luv or wuv (threw up in my mouth a little here). But really! I hope you have it all because that's what makes life worth it. The reflection of yourself in other people. The fact you did enough things right to have another person give you and hug and whisper "I love you" or whatever other variation they choose. Quite frankly, I also hope that you have someone to say it to. A friend, your Mom, your boyfriend, someone. At the end of the day we all need it. Now, if you're a person that doesn't, maybe watch Oprah or get a puppy because there is seriously something wrong with you.

I might be to hung up on words and love is just love or luv or wuv.

How do you express that you care about someone? 

the outspoken introvert  

08 January 2013 in

Bit by Bit

You should check this out.
A. Because it's rad.
B. Because I said so.
C. Because you'll enjoy it.

the outspoken introvert

07 January 2013 in , ,

How I dealt with...A Singleton New Year's Eve

The smoke from the fireworks, the glitter, and the bubbly have all gone and well 2013 is here. The world didn't come to a catastrophic end. Probably makes people who have three years worth of food in their bunker feel pretty stupid. I mean, at least I hope it does; but I'll skip that malarkey. 

New Year's Eve marks the end and beginning, it allows for closure and hope to exist in the same night. Although I'm a fan of NYE in theory, I'm not crazy about it in practical terms. The hype is enormous when it's really just another night with a countdown thrown in for good measure. I decided that this year my NYE was going to be different than all the other ones. I was going to stay home. The day before I downloaded a series of rom coms (that's romantic comedies, just in case you didn't know, my favourite by the way. Yeah yeah laugh away) and I was ready. I was ready to do nothing. In true NYE fashion, nothing worked out the way I planned.

I should probably explain why I'm not all fuzzy and tickled about the above mentioned eve. It's quite straight forward. The holidays are a bit tough to go through alone. I don't mean entirely alone like solitary confinement, I mean single. Being surrounded by couples is not boarding the dream boat to a singleton, it's boarding the Titanic. It's a constant reminder of your aloneness. First I had to go through Christmas, explaining my version of why I'm single to everyone that asked. Because you know, that's every single person's favourite. Then followed NYE and I wasn't going to do it. Stand there at midnight without anyone to kiss; surrounded by my drunk, coupley friends making out like teenagers. No thank you. I was determined and armed with the newest releases of Katherine Heigl's humorous love tribulations. It's not a rom com (again, romantic comedy) without Katherine.


Friend B: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Nothing, staying at home. Just gonna chill.

In short, this went through a few cycles of convincing, sprinkled with some guilt trip which finally ended with me leaving the house at eleven. Reluctantly, of course. Right before twelve o'clock, after the pleasantries of hugs and hellos, everyone settled in for the countdown. I filled my glass to the brim with pinot noir and waited in angst for the uncomfortable stroke of midnight to arrive.



Fireworks went off and I was surrounded by kissy couples. Alone. It was splendid. By splendid, I mean it was totally what I expected and the reason I didn't want to go. However, it is rare that a night meets your expectations completely, so there's that. I did get a kiss from friend B, which made me feel a little less lonesome. In the true spirit of the festivities, I downed that pinot like it was my job, I mean alcohol is not the answer but it sure helped.

All in all I can't complain. The night ended with amazing conversation over some kick-ass wine. What more could a singleton ask for. Incidentally, if I'm single next year, I'll have to use the bathroom right at midnight. Coincidence, maybe. 

Happy New Year.

the outspoken introvert

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